Domestic Violence Prevention: The Final Article in This Series of Six on Domestic Violence

Time and time again, I have heard a battered woman say she knows something is wrong with her or with the relationship, but she does not know what it is. She does not know why she gets slapped or screamed at because she thinks she is a good wife. This same woman then proceeds to rationalize and justify her husband's actions for his anger and rage. After all is said and done, she is worried about getting home on time and what he may think of her if she is late. I was that same woman. I consider myself to be smart, yet I had no clue that domestic violence could ever happen to me... not to me.

What can we do to prevent domestic violence? I have a brilliant idea and plan. This must be implemented before abuse is ever triggered. The following is my five-step-plan.

1). Go into schools, as young as elementary age, up through high school and into the universities. Have age-appropriate literature, such as brochures, available to pass out, as well as refrigerator magnets, for all to take with them after the 30-minute presentation on what domestic violence and "date rape" is. Again, the discussion and presentation would be catered for the age of the audience. Allow time for questions at the end. When I gave a presentation to a group of 65 women and men at a local college, half of them in the room stood up and wanted to tell their story of being in a domestic violent relationship. They just needed empowered to do so.

2). Hold community fairs and free public events. Invite churches to set up booths, invite the local battered women's shelters to set up tables with their literature, invite women's organizations to participate, and call this a "Day of Learning and Loving" or whatever. Just get the public involved and get the information out there about preventing domestic violence.

3). Train the counselors, therapists, life coaches, and anyone who may work in treating or guiding the victims of domestic violence. I can only speak for the local Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas, area providers, as well as providers in two other states, and I must say that those affiliated with agencies who provide care for abused victims, or those who are experts in the field, such as myself, are the ones who can provide the proper guidance. Victims and survivors of domestic violence have indicated they often feel misunderstood by their therapists when they seek help. This happens when one seeks out an untrained life coach, counselor, or therapist who does not know the dynamics of domestic violence.

Research has indicated many therapists and counselors in family practice have not received proper training suitable for helping guide the victim in a domestic violent relationship. Training is critical. A family therapist more than likely does not have proper training and neither do many marriage and family counselors, according to research and LMFT own self-reports. The best help and guidance for a victim of domestic violence is one who is a professional or expert in that field and not one who does it part time, or acts like they understand it.

One word of caution here, please. Marriage counseling can cause more damage and harm to the victim of domestic violence, than good. Never under any certain terms should a couple seek marriage or family counseling when there is domestic violence in the home. Only properly trained life coaches, therapists, or counselors with domestic violence knowledge and education should be working with the victim.

4). Train the law enforcement officials and 911 operators. This may sound senseless; however, you may be surprised at the differences in response rates right here in this Metroplex region. There needs to be a universal response system in place for handling domestic violence calls, instead of taking it lightly and assuming that the call is just a husband and wife yelling at each other and everything is no big deal. When will people understand that domestic violence is the number one killer of women between the ages of 15 to 44 years of age?

5). Contact the local and national organizations for domestic violence and ask what you can do to help. In Texas, this is; The Texas Council on Family Violence (TCFV) and at the national level; National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV). You can also do volunteer work at a local battered women's shelters. They are always looking for volunteer services.

Hopefully, this five-step-plan provided you with some information to take action in creating a program and strategy to implement prevention of domestic violence and raise awareness. Please help us educate others about this very important issue.

Divorce and Domestic Violence: Is Domestic Violence Considered a Crime?

Many divorce attorneys and divorce lawyers are often confronted with this question because of the difficulties associated with domestic violence cases. Indeed domestic violence can take numerous shapes including actual physical abuse or threats of physical abuse, emotional abuse, threatening telephone calls, disturbances at person's workplace and stalking. Domestic violence covers many forms of abuse such as physical or emotional dominance and control over a close related person, whether spouse/husband or any other relative.

Therefore, the question to of whether or not domestic violence is punishable under criminal law will often depend on the type of domestic violence and the specific circumstances in which the act or acts of domestic violence took place. However, repeated actual physical abuse is generally not punished the same way as disturbances.

Further, there are no common national laws regarding domestic violence matters in the United States. Each State has its own laws to handle domestic violence cases. Therefore the same domestic violence case may be judged differently from one state to another. However, most States tend to consider domestic violence both as a crime and a civil offense. Therefore, the domestic violence offender may be subject to both a criminal punishment such as a jail sentence and to a civil punishment such as money damages.

Many States also tend to consider domestic violence a crime against the community. As a consequence, a domestic violence case may be subject to prosecution by the city or district attorney even if charges have not been brought by the abused person and even without his/her assistance. Too often, and in most famous domestic violence cases, the abused person ran away from the family residence, contacted the police, pressed charges, and then tried to have the charges dropped because he/she managed to reconcile with the abuser. In order to prevent such patterns from being repeated, many local communities and states enforced a more severe legal system regarding domestic violence matters.

Whether it is the first complaint or not or charges were pressed or not, domestic violence cases can be brought to justice. Many local communities or states try to inform and warn that domestic violence will not be tolerated by local authorities. If you want to know more about your local legal system and what acts of domestic violence is considered a crime, you can get some useful information with your local bar association or by consulting an attorney in your jurisdiction.

Animal Abuse and Domestic Violence - A Correlated Generalized Deviance

I believe it is safe to say that a majority of defendants charged in our courts with animal abuse have prior domestic violence convictions as well. It is because of the "generalized deviance" that domestic violence and animal abuse are correlated. Anti-social behavior of different levels can happen in one individual but how that individual came to exercise the deviance is more complicated as there are many pathways that lead to it. An example of one of these exercises is the individuals use of violence or other anti-social manipulations to "solve" problems which is called "modeling" and explains why violence is often intergenerational. Although animal abuse and domestic violence are correlated, it varies as to which occurs first.

But are there any numbers we can connect here; any studies conducted to make this deviance a little more tangible? A study done in New Jersey found that in 88% of households where children were physically abused, there were records of animal abuse as well. In Wisconsin, four out of five battered women cases revealed the partner had been violent toward pets. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence conducted a study of abuse victims after arriving at domestic violence shelters and found that 85.4% of women and 63.0% of children reported incidents of pet abuse. The Chicago Police Department's Domestic Violence Program compiled a history of arrestees for animal fighting/animal abuse for the period of 2000-2001 and found that approximately 30% had a conviction of domestic violence on their record. Animal abuse is often associated with other serious crimes such as drug offenses, gangs, weapons violence, sexual assault, and domestic violence and the individuals committing these acts of violence against animals are viewed as a danger to the public and therefore, must be addressed. The whole premise of an animal abuser is to demonstrate power. The abuser will batter an animal to hold control over his family, to isolate them and enforce submission. He will abuse a pet to perpetuate a fearful environment; to prevent a victim from leaving or coerce them to return. They will batter an animal to punish a victim for showing independence.

First responders and professionals who investigate abuse should be aware and trained to observe the cycle of violence. Some states practice this observance and take it a step further by implementing cross-reporting laws. When an animal control officer is called to investigate animal abuse in a home with children, they are mandated to report child abuse when animal abuse is confirmed. Children are generally more willing to discuss what happened to a pet than they are to their own victimization. In Ohio, any child under the age of 18 years of age who commits cruelty to a pet, is required to undergo psychological evaluation to determine individual or family counseling as necessary. The legislation also permit's the court to include a protection order for any companion animal in the home of the person seeking a criminal protection order, domestic violence protection order, a civil stalking order, a sexual offense protection order, or the approval of a civil domestic violence consent agreement. Often a partner will abuse a pet that is in the home as a tactic to keep the victim under control. It is understood that many victims will not leave when it puts their pets in harm's way. When questioning victims and their children, first responders should be alert for signs of child and/or pet victimization. They should ask if the abuser or anyone else threatened to harm their pet and ask if they need help finding a safe place for their pet to go if they leave. Many victims will not prosecute their abuser however, animal cruelty prosecution can result in incarceration or treatment that is equal to results from a domestic violence prosecution.

Domestic Violence Shelters, Animal Shelters, and Humane Organizations can do much to offer protection for animal victims. When working with abuse victims in their safety planning, be sure they include their pets. Question them about any threats or injuries to their pets. Work with legislators to include pets in orders of protection and educate judges on the necessities of these inclusions. Team up with your local animal control and humane organizations and local domestic violence shelters to establish emergency housing of pets coming from homes experiencing violence. If there is no space available, establish a network of homes that provide emergency care for these pets through foster care agencies then incorporate these connections in school programs where they might reach children who are at risk of family violence. Also, many YWCA's have pet shelter programs that are in partnership with the humane society, local clinics, kennels, stables, and veterinarians.

Unfortunately, victims of domestic violence often choose to stay in abusive relationships to protect their pets. A study shows that 71% of women seeking "safe haven" in domestic violence shelters had companion animals threatened, hurt, or killed by their abuser. Many victims never even go to a shelter because of this fear for their pets. It is in recognition of this fact that many states have passed laws including pets in court-issued orders of protection and to include any animal that is harmed or threatened with harm in the state's definition of "domestic violence." Society doesn't consider animal cruelty as severe as violence against humans but it is increasingly viewed as a serious issue by professionals in law enforcement and mental health. Effective prosecution of animal abuse can provide early and timely response to those who are, or who are at risk of becoming, a threat to the safety of others. It is a tool for protection for victims of family violence, developing new skills and understanding which will help build a truly compassionate society.

Ask A Domestic Violence Lawyer: Taking Time Off Work

For those who are victims of abuse from an intimate partner, the right to take time off from work is provided under federal law. In some situations, state laws may also provide extended leave for employees who are injured due to abuse. It is best to consult a domestic violence lawyer if the workplace does not comply with laws provided.

What Is Domestic Violence?

Domestic violence can be defined as the mental or physical abuse inflicted by a partner. It can often deter the victim from going to work, whether it is for the purpose of obtaining medical assistance or to move to a safer location. Time off may also be required if one person damages or sabotages the others ability to get to work, such as vehicular damage or withholding access to cash.

Because of the increased amount of time away from work that is required to deal with these situations, many states have chosen to adopt domestic violence leave laws that provides time off for victims. In addition to utilizing the Family Medical Leave Act, which provides up to 12 weeks off per year to handle personal or family medical ordeals, these specialized laws permit victims to take time off to attend court proceedings.

Statewide Domestic Violence Leave Laws

The states that currently have these laws in place are very similar in what they cover, but there are variations.

For instance, some may vary in the length of time they offer. Some states provide a set amount of days off while others simply stipulate that a "reasonable amount of time" away is adequate. Other states only require that an employee not be fired due to absence stemming from a domestic abuse incident.

The stated reason for being away is also a consideration that varies. The list of covered activities is different, but may include all or some of the following: seeking mental or emotional counseling, seeking a domestic violence lawyer, going to court, or seeking a restraining order.

In addition, each state has different requirements for the application process. Some employers may need significant notice and extensive paperwork. However, there are typically stipulations in place for emergencies when notice is not an option. Other areas may require written proof for being absent.

The issue of paid days off will also depend on your location. No state requires employers to pay employees for time off. Employees may be able to use accrued hours from vacation or sick days before taking leave.

When dealing with abuse situations, it is crucial to work closely with a domestic violence lawyer to ensure total safety from an aggressor. They can also advise when a victim may need to take time off to deal with all that is necessary in these cases.

Children and Domestic Violence: The Effects

Domestic violence can have many effects on children. These effects include short term and long term problems. Children
often remember domestic violence their entire lives.

The short term effects on children who have experienced domestic violence can vary depending on the age of the child,
gender, family role and personality. Children may blame themselves for the violence or have trouble sleeping. They may
begin wetting the bed or having nightmares.

Children who witness or are a part of domestic violence may regress to an earlier stage of development. They may show signs of fearfulness or anxiety and begin destructive or aggressive behavior. Other short term effects of domestic violence may include cruelty to animals or bullying others. Children may experience stress related illnesses like stomachaches or headaches. You may also notice speech difficulties and a withdrawal from people or activities. Watch for drug or alcohol abuse.

There are also many long term effects from domestic violence. Destructive and violent behavior often follows those who have
experienced domestic violence as children. Some children learn to handle their anger and frustration with the violence they
have witnessed. Other children grow up to abuse alcohol or drugs. There are often problems with stress and anxiety.

Children who have grown up with domestic violence may exhibit a loss of trust or have emotional problems.

Domestic Violence Statistics Vital to Understanding How to Help Abuse Victims

Looking at domestic violence statistics can be quite disturbing. However, by doing so, it helps all of us understand the issue better and allows us to come up with solutions to abuse.

Any kind of violence between family members, spouses and partners is domestic abuse. Domestic abuse is usually brought on by high stress and behaviors. As many as one in every four women have been a victim. Various domestic violence statistics follow.

From a study held in 2000 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention along with the National Institute of Justice, Extent, Nature and Consequences of Intimate Violence found that as many as 3 million to 6 million women nationally are abused physically by their boyfriend or husband every year.

Every year 85% of victims are women abused by their partners. Men make up 15% of domestic abuse victims every year.

This type of abuse is all around, but it is not talked about. As many as 74% of people know someone who has or is going through one form of domestic abuse. And 30% of people know of someone who has been abused physically by their partner within the last year.

Unfortunately, domestic abuse can lead to death. In domestic homicides one in every four is a man, meaning that three out of four homicides are women. And these men and women were killed by their intimate partners.

In 2000 1,247 women were murdered by their partner and 400 men were killed by their partner. Of all the murders of women, 30% are domestic abuse homicides. And of men murdered, 5% are domestic abuse homicides. Most often, domestic abuse homicides are between a husband and wife, but the number of homicides between boyfriends and girlfriends has been rising in recent years.

Every year, the cost of health care related to this type of violence has been on the rise. The health care that people receive due to domestic abuse can be for mental health and medical care. As high as $4.1 to $5.8 billion dollars is spent on mental health care services and medical care. On top of medical care, lost wages have exceeded $1.8 billion dollars annually due to domestic violence.

Of female victims, half report physical injury. Though 50% of female victims receive injuries only 20% seek out medical attention. Of the women who received medical attention 37% received their injuries on a recurring basis from a boyfriend or spouse.

These domestic violence statistics are not limited to husbands and wives. 20% of female teenagers have been abused either physically or sexually from their boyfriend. One in five teenagers has been victim of physical abuse while in a serious relationship by their partner.

And 14% of teenagers have been threatened by their girlfriend or boyfriend, and often the threat is about breaking up and forcing the other to stay in the abusive relationship. Studies have shown that the more serious a relationship gets and the longer it gets there is a higher potential for violence.

Regarding sexual assaults, 70% are date rape involving women in their teens to college years. 38% of these women are aged 14 to 17 years old. One in every five women has been sexually assaulted. And 75% of women who have been sexually abused since they were 18 years old were abused by a husband or an intimate partner.

Looking at domestic violence statistics reveals that children are often victims of domestic abuse. Men who assault their wives are 50% more likely to assault their children. Every year as many as 3.3 to 10 million children witness domestic violence.